One of the reasons I have always liked facebook is that it connects super busy people, long lost friends and gives you at the very least an avenue (even though it is virtual) to talk to friends, share your thoughts and be in sync with life, even while you are running your own marathon.
My respect for the forum increased furthermore, when I heard an awe-inspiring talk from Ms. Sheryl Sandberg the COO of facebook, on why there are only a few women leaders in the world! Interestingly, the very same morning of hearing this talk, I was contemplating the reasons for myriad changes that have occurred in my own life after the birth of my daughter and was wondering on why my risk taking ability has vanished.
I got my answers in that 10 minute session.
Women I believe are very special species. Think about it, next to God only women can genuinely create and experience the creation of life. And I completely agree to the fact that, even after the most amazing virtues and capabilities, women definitely underestimate themselves. I do this myself, every day, every hour, thinking that maybe my husband is far more efficient in making better choices than I am! And this is despite the fact that he is the one, who trusts me and my decisions, and seeks advice from me more than I do it from myself!! Then why I wonder, do we feel less confident? Why do we hesitate in making decisions? Why do we not negotiate well for our capabilities and settle for less? I do not have the answer, but I do know that the world out there belongs to the mighty and not the meek, and we as women should somewhere realize that we are bloody well mightier than what we think!
What interested me more was the realization of our subconscious second citizen stature that maybe is reinforced and ingrained in us through the ages. The inequality of genders does exist, no matter how much we deny it. But with education the least we can do is to consciously reduce the gap by first acknowledging our own capabilities and appreciating capabilities of the other women (very hard, the vanity in me says, but definitely possible!) Only if we stand and applaud, and appreciate ourselves and women like ourselves, everyday, we might be able to steal a little appreciation from the community in which we exist.
The fact that we prefer to lean backwards, we give up early on work, because of family, peer pressure, because of our own subconscious thought that life will expect more once we are married, family will expect more, children will expect more, and hence we need to accommodate for all that by giving up on what we love doing, needs to change. While the society expects us a bit of all these things, most of these, I believe are self inflicted fears! When I look back, I was in two minds with respect to my career, when I conceived. Should I be a working mother or a home maker? The question did not even exist for my husband! Of course, I need to continue work, because that what defines me! I wonder then why did this question bother me then? Why was this not as clear in my mind, as was in his! Self-inflicted expectation fear, I say! And this is when I have been brought up in a fairly independent and progressive environment!
Now that I am mother of a beautiful daughter, I think I have a far bigger responsibility – the responsibility of creating an undoubtful mind, the responsibility of reinforcing confidence in my child and the fact that she has the power within, as any other person, to make the right decisions in life. That she will always have choices, but those choices won’t be subconsciously driven by fears of unfulfilled expectations, but driven by her own happiness. For me, I might or might not make it big at work, but I do know now, that I will do exactly what I will expect and teach my daughter to do – stand up for yourself and don’t ever give up!
Hear the most inspring and relevant talk on this topic on www.ted.com
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